HMAS BATT in Binalong Bay

HMAS something in Binalong Bay

Captains Log - 0006/ 24th of March 2024 / 0730hrs

I went into a submarine once. It was at Darling Harbour in Sydney - the Onslow is an Oberon class submarine that was commissioned the year before I was born and sailed around the world - underwater - for around 30 years before becoming a tourist attraction. It was both amazing and somewhat confronting with a newly found emotion of “claustrophobia” finding it’s roots in my DNA that day. Back then, it did give me a renewed respect for those that have the gene that allows them to spend their days on metal and steal floating the oceans (both below and above, both military and merchant) - after all, I am the Captain of The Ship and my day job is all about ships. So when a grey silhouette appeared floating round Binalong Bay outside our lounge room window the other day I was intrigued to say the least.

I am sure if I tried harder I could find out the name of the navy ship (‘s” - there were two actually), but the Marine Tracker website we use didn’t have them marked (I suppose there is an advantage being a Navy Ship in not declaring where you are at all times) and on further investigation of the Tas Ports website, the entry for arrival into port simply stated “Australian Warship” and that’s when I stopped looking. So for the sake of this entry, let’s call it the HMAS BATT (His Majesty’s’ Australian Ship / Boys And Their Toys). I suppose for the record I need to acknowledge that there are not just “boys” on these ships…..any gender these days is acceptable and there are a few, but let’s just pretend that not quoting all of them is an issue (remember those days). Anyway, all political correctness aside, the HMAS BATT spent the day outside our window in various positions having a grand old time.

I guess if I was the skipper of an “Australian Warship” and decided that we needed to “be prepared for conflict”, I would choose Binalong Bay as the location to use that as an excuse to fire up the engines and give it all a spin. Over the course of the day, through binoculars, we watched the HMAS BATT cruising around various parts of the Tasman Sea with what for them must have been a postcard place to train (cough - play). In the afternoon the coolest of the crew got to jump in a few helicopters and whilst I am sure it was very important work, I cannot help but think that the adrenaline and excitement for those cruising around the shore and the sea, hovering over the water with the spray from the rotors clearly visible from miles away, was an absolute ball for all involved. Sort of puts the Mountain Bike trails into another perspective in the realms of fun with boys with their toys.

At some point I thought “what if this is not the Australian Navy out there, but some naughty country that has chosen Binalong Bay as the launching ground for an invasion”. But after a minute or two I realized that they would get distracted by the scenery and if they did land at shore they would pass the new Crayfish shop at St Helen’s and stop there for a feed and conclude that everyone is rather content down here and it is all a big waste of time.

Regardless, a bit of entertainment for us for the day (and for them, I have no doubt).

Whilst I was watching the show, I did manage to perfect Macadamia and white chocolate shortbread balls!

Twice now, over the years, my co pilot and I have undertaken the “Shitbox Rally”. For those that don’t know, it is a car rally fundraising event for cancer research. The rules are quite simple - your car’s value needs to be valued under A$1500.00 (it used to be under A$1000.00 - but even Shitbox cars are a victim of inflation) and you need to get it from A to B. On the two occasions that we have gone from A to B it has involved the Australian desert over seven days with 250 other cars and teams. I could wax lyrical about the rally itself for pages and pages, but that is for another day.

Folko Kooper is an artist in Tasmania. If you have ever seen a metal wedgetail eagle or a large metal pear then the chances are it is one of Folko’s creations. I feel very privileged to call Folko a friend and whenever we decide to do a Sitbox Rally, Folko has jumped at the opportunity to create something for the top of our vehicle. The first one being a Tasmanian devil (Errol) on a surfboard and the second being a screaming cockatoo (Jeremy) on a surfboard. We auction these during the rally for fundraising for the cancer council.

One on of my journeys to Hobart I popped into Folko’s for a coffee and some cake - I always seem to manage to nail it on my visits where Folko’s wife has just baked something amazing. After the usual hour chat around amazing things mixed with some cynicism for the world, Folko said “come with me, I have a house warming gift for you for The Ship”. Wandering through the landscape that is their home is like a walk through the Louvre as everything is perfection of art with sculptures of metal and sandstone mixed in with gardens and towering trees - it is always inspiring going to Folko’s house. We ended up at his “shed” (old warehouse timber with sandstone bricks), where Folko pulled out a coil of mooring rope that he tells me was gifted to him and is from the Young Endeavor (the replica vessel that Captain Cook sailed on). He passes it on as the house warming gift.

Over the last five weeks this piece of history has been sitting in our shed (not as exotic as Folko’s but awesome to us) and has been “in the way”. Our shed is currently a museum for 21 years of not being disciplined - I call it the museum currently. So, the other day I decided that it was time to get the creative juices flowing and channeled my inner Folko.

Behold the photo below - our “Endeavour Mooring Rope Chandelier” for the undercover, outdoor communal fire and cooking area of our property.

One of my great joys at The Ship, is to sit on the deck on a sunny day just staring out at the view. The Sea, the clouds, the trees the weather is a minute to minute landscape of amazingness that if I am not careful could see me lose an hour or two of productivity quite easily. Lucky “Alex” the magpie is there to remind me that I have responsibilities.

Every morning Alex and his family pop around to the rail of the deck to say good morning, or rather the beautiful song that they sing us each morning roughly translated is “where’s my bacon”. I have to say at this point that I am VERY conscious of disturbing the natural environment of these beautiful creatures, but I have reconciled my position on our “magpie cafe” as a mutual evolutionary arrangement we have between upright ape and evolved dinosaur. Not unlike that detour on the way to the office to Alps and Amici cafe to get an espresso and the occasional piece of cake. I am comfortable with Alex and his family becoming friends with us and having a little treat during the day (it is random - sometimes it is afternoon when they pop around). I also have to say that they enjoy Scottsdale Pork bacon, only the best at The Ship.

Alex and his family are mates of ours now. They used to not come closer than twenty meters from us at any time, but now they are happy to sit on a chair with us on the deck in the hope that we may happen to have some more bacon with us (only once a day - that is the rule. He is called Alex after our son as he always comes back for seconds). It is not unusual for the background chorus of Alex and his family singing away at our front window being the additional soundtrack to the many “Teams” video meetings I am on these days. Anyway, I digress…..

The other day I did notice that the “pecking” order of the birds that own the land around The Ship is very defined. The crows came to visit. The crows are the alfa’s here (except probably the Wedgetail eagles - but they don’t pop in to the cafe, they go straight to the Michelin star restaurant of Binalong Bay). Sneaky little buggers those crows. My tomato plants are now enclosed in netting as they have developed a taste for a just ripened tomato. I have caught them a few times hanging around the nets looking for entry points. I am winning this battle - so far. Magnificent creatures (all creatures are in my eyes), but their jet black bodies and call seems to be designed for domination and stealth. On this particular day the two crows perched themselves on a branch of a tree and watched the Magpie cafe operation. With Alex having received his portion, the Magpies decided that it should be for them and with that an aerial dog fight operation commenced. With precision and purpose, the crows dived into attack, relentlessly pursuing Alex and his family until they dropped the bacon for them to scoop up and defiantly eat in front of them - you could see the eye contact between them both. At one point Alex took off with his bacon and the Crow took off behind him. Dodging and weaving between trees, Alex’s wife was right behind the crow nipping at his tail feathers. Alex still lost - two magpies against one crow is not enough. It has only happened once, but I don’t doubt that those crows will be back when they fancy some bacon. The resident kookaburra also got in on the action, dive bombing the crows from time to time, but I don’t think that was for bacon, rather for territory.

The concept, in my mind at least, is that Alex and his family as well as the kookaburras and yep, even the crows, own this land we now live on. It is one of the only open expanses in this area and with my trusty air force of carnivore birds hanging around, anything that gets around without legs (snakes) would think twice about emerging from the forest anywhere near the house. The previous owner said he never saw a snake near the house in the three years he lived here. So a little bit of bacon every now and again as acknowledgment for patrolling the boundaries of the property is a small price to pay and a mutual arrangement that works.

That said….it didn’t stop me and the deckhand (Debi) carefully observing a long dark shadow on the ground through the binoculars on the other side of the vegetable enclosure yesterday……after a bit I decided to wander over and check this new potential threat to our world. I am happy to report that the long shadow was a piece of bark that helped start the fire last night. Good work Alex and family, keep up the patrolling!

Alex is happy to just hang out with us sometimes - but I am sure bacon is never far from his mind.

Thank you for reading my ramblings again – keep safe and see you next week.

The Captain.